Lessons From The Lyrics #2 "Before He Cheats"

This isn't the anthem for strong, powerful women you think it is.

The song “Before He Cheats” was the 2006 anthem for wronged women everywhere. While it sounds powerful for women it’s really a program of how not to do life.

And we made it a crossover hit for Carrie Underwood.

In the first verse we’re off to a great start. The woman in this song is upset and angry about something she doesn’t even know is true.

“Right now, he’s probably slow dancing
With a bleached-blonde tramp
And she’s probably getting frisky
Right now, he’s probably buying her some fruity little drink
‘Cause she can’t shoot a whiskey
Right now, he’s probably up behind her with a pool-stick
Showing her how to shoot a combo
And he don’t know“

As we hit the chorus we get the list of criminal acts this woman has committed.

“I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped up four-wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seats
I took a Louisville Slugger to both headlights
Slashed a hole in all four tires
Maybe next time, he’ll think before he cheats“

It’s not until the last line that we even find out he’s actually done anything.

Here’s 7 things I know about this woman just from her thoughts and behavior.

1. She thinks she’s a strong woman. Spoiler Alert: She’s not.

2. She has no coping skills.

3. She’s attracted to losers.

4. She has a frequency that draws in low rent people.

5. She likely loves drama.

6. She’s willing to compromise herself and her freedom just to make a point.

7. She likely has a history of giving away time and energy to people and situations that aren’t good for her.

Strong women are grounded.

When they have challenges in life they deal with it head on, through processing their feelings.

What they don’t do is act impulsively, commit revenge-based criminal acts in the name of saving “a little trouble for the next girl”.

If anything she probably taught him how to not get caught.

The man in this song has his own issues and until he decides to undo his own conditioning he’ll be a repeat offender.

As she’s imagining what this man is likely doing and she references, “Right now, he’s probably dabbing on Three dollars worth of that bathroom Polo“ I’d like to point out this isn’t the behavior of a man you want to catch.

The entire song describes this man as someone who isn’t looking for a relationship. I mean he cheated on her and he’s on to the next one. She knows his whole game plan, fell for it and got hurt. She is some version of the “bleach-blonde” described throughout the lyrics…that’s…how…she…knows!

You can either respond or react to life.

This woman is reacting in anger. You cannot make clear decisions when you’re angry. She’s so furious that she thinks this is the time to teach him a lesson.

In the real world, there are cameras everywhere.

You know everyone in the parking lot of that bar either went live on social media or started recording as soon as they realized something was happening.

She “carved” her name into the seat for crying out loud. Even the dumbest law enforcement officer would be able to connect these dots.

Because this man is also walking around dumping his unresolved issues on other people, it’s inevitable that the cops will be called and he’ll score another point against her.

The game continues because drama queens and kings are only ‘safe’ when things are falling apart or when there’s, well, drama.

Getting arrested because you were cheated on is a pretty costly way to compromise yourself.

Have you ever heard the saying “You are who you hang around.”? This song is a description of what it looks like in real life.

You can’t hang out in bars, drink alcohol, make impaired decisions about who you should spend time with and then get upset when that person hangs out in the bar, drinks and makes impaired decisions.

It would be great if we all would heal our wounds, get our minds and bodies in great shape then find a partner. That’s not typically how it works though.

This woman is angry that this man hurt her but she’s also angry that she gave her time and energy to someone that didn’t deserve it.

The repetitive content in this song is the negative image of a strong woman and how she handles herself.

If you’ve ever been cheated on you might say the man deserved it. Maybe he did. Dishing out that revenge though, says way more about her than it does him.

We are children walking around in adult bodies until we make the decision to be better, to undo the conditioning we received from parents, friends, society.

This song is one, extremely popular, version of the “strong” woman. There are countless versions of this in books, movies, TV, etc.

If you take into consideration how your subconscious mind works, women and men everywhere are getting the wrong message.

We can do better. It starts the moment you realize you want real strength. Not this angry, whirlwind, drama-filled, revenge driven outrage that makes you feel briefly powerful but gives you more of the same old stuff in the end.

Maybe this woman learned her lesson. The bridge of this song indicates maybe she has. Without peeling back/processing the layers of hurt and conditioning, I’d be willing to bet some version of this gets stuck on repeat.

You will have a hard time finding someone to treat you well if you can’t treat yourself well.

Boundaries are a gift. Emotions are messages and need to move in healing ways versus being suppressed or acted out in self-compromising ways.

Take a moment to consider the women in your life. How do they show up?

If you step back can you see the inner child directing their lives?

Or, do you see embodied strength and power?

Better yet, would you even know embodied strength and power if you saw it?

This is the problem with negative, repetitive content, imagery and archetypes. It skews what’s actually normal and natural.

The man and woman in this song are living out exactly what they were taught/conditioned/programmed to do.

Your Life Is Calling,

Leslie

P.S. In case you missed it…Lessons From The Lyrics #1 “Stop Dragging My Heart Around”- Why “Stop Dragging My Heart Around” Tells You Exactly How You Feel About Yourself As A Woman.